Respecting Adult Decisions

Reprinted from the April 2005 issue of the diocesan newspaper, The Vision.

When I have opportunities to talk about Church growth, I am often asked, 'How do we go about getting the members who have left, to return?”

My answer is to tell people to examine the story of Jesus’ interaction with the rich young man in Matthew’s Gospel (19:16-22). In the story a young man asks Jesus what he must do in order to have eternal life. Jesus responds, “If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.” The man answers, “I have kept all of( the commandments); what do I still lack?” Jesus tells the young man to sell his possessions and give the money to the poor, and then follow him.

We are told, “When the young man heard this word, he went away grieving, for he had many possessions.”

Notice that Jesus respects the decisions of adult people. In this case, he tells the young man what he must do to have eternal life, and when the man decides that he cannot do what was asked of him, Jesus lets him go. He doesn’t chase him. He doesn’t try to persuade him to change his mind. He doesn’t bargain with him (“Well maybe selling all your possessions was a bit much, how about 10%?"). He doesn’t compromise what is required. He simply answers the young man’s questions and then respects the decision the young man makes. Jesus then continues his ministry of proclaiming the kingdom of God.

As I look to the Jesus of the Gospels for guidance, I cannot find one example in which he doesn’t respect the decisions that people make. We would do well to do the same, honoring and respecting the decisions of other adults and continuing on with the ministry God has given us. Faith communities are built up and better served by focusing energy on mission and ministry
and by inviting new people into their midst.

Over the years I have learned to respect adult decisions and to trust that God will provide.